HeLLo WoRLd....welcome to my blog....this is the story of me.....

My Story....
begins when i was a little girl.  All i ever wanted to do was sketch. draw, read and travel. I wanted to see England and be an artist Sketching and reading were so relaxing and peaceful to me.  i took every art class i could, and spent all of my free time during my summers off from school packing my lunch and walking to the town library to sit by the stream with my books or pad and pencil....taking breaks to watch the clouds roll by in the summer blue sky and dream of my future.  i was sure it would be one of artistic tranquility.

as time passed and i entered high school, i was viewed as a bit odd, and being awkward and shy, i chose to spend most of my time where i felt most comfortable and accepted.  That was "The Art House", an old Victorian house on the school grounds that served as the classrooms for all of the art they offered.  i continued to dream my dream.  i did not care to become famous....i just wanted to make art, and someday travel to England ....and then return to settle down in a cottage by the sea.

When it came time to choose my path after high school, i naturally announced that i wanted to attend art school.  At the time of that announcement, reality hit me in the face.  i was told by my parents that they would not send me to school to become an artist....that i could not make it as an artist and would never make a living.  i could choose to become a nurse or a teacher and they would pay for college.  to say i was devastated would be putting it mildly.  i was completely crushed.  from this, what i heard loud and clear was that i was not "good enough", and my dream exploded into dust....

i found a job, and was married by the time i was 20.....my dream struggling to come to the surface,  i began to take classes.  i worked about 40 miles from my home....woke early, fought traffic, went immediately to classes after work, until 10pm and then drove the other 20 miles home, falling into bed just before midnight to wake and repeat...wake and repeat....i was wearing myself out and burning myself out...and finally i stopped going...and pushed what was left of my dream to the furthest corner of my mind.  it caused less pain back there, nearly forgotten.

then came the purchase of a house, and four years after that the babies began...and with 3 little ones under the age of 4, i rarely had time to pull out and dust off the dream, so it mostly lay forgotten....or so i thought.
i dabbled in art....learned some woodworking, and made little things and painted after tucking the girls into bed. Nothing other than some sanity saving for me with 3 little girls and a husband consumed with building his business and rarely home.

i gradually began to meet people in the neighborhood.They wanted to know where i got the "cute" decorations in my house, and they were surprised when i said i made them.  They began to order them....for themselves and as gifts and i began to think again about my dream.  i worked slowly and steadily for 16 years building a cottage business that was seasonal...but mine.  i was delighted....and then life through a curve, and 7 years ago i had a choice to make.  My sister in law had just lost her mom to ovarian cancer....her dad was 20 years older than her mom and would be of little help....she was carrying twins.....and they decided they were not waiting for their due date of Nov 24th.   they arrived on September 26th, one 2 lbs and one just about 3lbs.  They were in the NIC unit until Thanksgiving.  i cancelled my boutique and went to the hospital and learned to become an "alternate care giver" for the 3 little ones. my dream again put away.

my girls were older now...17, 19 and 21.  Altho they needed me somewhat less, they still needed me more in other ways.  it was not until they went off to college that i decided it was time.....for me.  for the me that i lost a long time ago.....the me buried in the back of my mind.  the dreaming me.  plagued with under-confidence and the feeling of not being good enough to make a go of what i held dear to my heart, i decided to experiment with photography.  i was encouraged by my cousin, living in Galveston, and now deceased, well before her time. I began to share with her the photos i took and she began to give me the push i needed to go on and learn more....and thus my obsession was born and my dream of doing something with art was renewed.

I began to, quite shyly, give gifts of my photographs on cards or small matted prints to teachers i worked with for birthdays and such.  More and more, they would come to me and say "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!? ","You should be doing something with your work!"  i was encouraged....but still under-confident in my abilities.  i told myself that they were just being nice.  Several of them began to request photographs to go along with lessons...and began to tell others.  i began to have a slight feeling of "maybe i should be pursuing my dream and doing what i love so much."

at that time, i began to throw myself into photography, and learning all i could take in.  It gave me such a feeling of happiness and achievement.  I found i loved learning, and that as bad as i am in math, i was able to figure things out by thinking of them in a non numeric way.....all that ISO and Aperture stuff began to scare me less and intrigue me more!  As i began to grow and blossom into someone other than a wife and a mom, the home-front i began to experience some problems, with a husband who seemed to resent the me i was becoming.  i am determined to continue to grow and become a person....me....for i have always been only a wife and mother in everyones eyes it seems, including mine.  I need to have a me....and i am just learning how very important that is.

SO...here we are.  i am on my third class with Kim.  I now have my LLC and am a business woman, with my own business!  i still have a ways to go ....but the confidence is growing and i am starting to slowly book portraits and events and i am delighted!  my goal is to continue to grow and surround myself with my dear and supportive friends, who mean the world to me!  My story is not nearly done...i am writing my next chapter....always.

What is the best picture you have taken?  the answer is "the one i will take tomorrow!"

Susan